Paulo Roberto de Almeida
Love and business travel
Keeping a relationship going while on the road
The Economist, Dec 4th 2011, 18:46
by N.B. | BERLIN
YOUR CORRESPONDENT is spending two weeks in Berlin for business, so now seems like a good time to examine the difficulties of managing a serious relationship when one or both partners travel a lot. USABusinessReview.com has a nice piece by Doug and Polly White, two management consultants who eventually founded their own firm after years on the road (and apart from each other). Here is one of my favourite bits of advice:
Remember that business travel is not a vacation: Anyone who has spent significant time traveling on business will tell you that eating alone in restaurants or entertaining clients is not as enjoyable as time around the family table. Having the whole bed to yourself is actually lonely. Maid service is nice, but most would exchange a messy bathroom or unmade bed for a good-night kiss from their spouse.
This is so true, but easy to forget when you're together. Don't do that. Here's another titbit I liked:
Find ways to do everyday things together: We watched T.V. together. Hooray for phone plans that allow unlimited minutes! We would talk to each other, make comments about the show, or simply sit quietly and watch. The phone made it seem like we were sitting together rather than miles apart. In addition, Doug would call the home number each morning to wake Polly. She called him “her personal alarm clock."
You should read the whole piece, but I'd just point out how much better technology has made long-distance relationships in the eight years since Mr and Mrs White started their own firm. My fiancée and I are often in separate cities, but we've seen a vast improvement in our ability to do things together while we're apart. Video chat through Skype or Google is easy, free and high-quality; Google Plus hangouts allow multiple people to watch the same YouTube video and chat while they're doing so; Google Voice or Skype audio calls mean there's no more holding the phone to your ear or relying on low-quality cell-phone speakerphones if you want to chat while you work or just want to keep each other company. It's a whole new world out there.
That said, a lot of the most important things you can do to keep both of you happy while on the road have stayed the same. Stay in touch, ask about each other's days, and focus on and plan for your reunion. And if all that distance eventually gets to be too much, ask yourself whether you need to be doing the job you're doing the way you're doing it. Even Mr and Mrs White, who were obviously long-distance relationship experts, eventually decided to change their situation. Do you absolutely need to go on that business trip? Is there another job you could be doing that you might enjoy more and might bring you closer to your family? Economist readers are risk-takers, right? So take one.
